QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.
Last Week: Joe discovered an idol and was pumped, Ben found a potential new alliance and jumped, and Simone spent time in the water and was voted out.
39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Alright, let’s take a closer look at these tribes…
The Levu Tribe (AKA: The Heroes – Wearing Blue)
Alan, 31 – NFL Player
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Ben, 34 – Marine
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
JP, 28 – Firefighter
The Soko Tribe (AKA: The Healers – Wearing Yellow)
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Desiree, 27 – Physical Therapist
Jessica, 29 – Nurse Practitioner
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer*
Mike, 43 – Urologist
Roark, 27 – Social Worker
The Yawa Tribe (AKA: The Hustlers – Wearing Red)
Ali, 24 – Celebrity Assistant
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Patrick, 24 – Small Business Owner
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop
*Has an immunity idol
Hmm…no post-Tribal shenanigans at all. I guess it was just a smooth unanimous vote.
At Hustlers Beach
Ryan and Patrick are psyched that Simone left her clothing behind. They even put on an odd little fashion show. When they’re done sashaying, they both agree that they’d rather keep Ali over Lauren.
Lauren knows she’s on the outs and works to turn Ali and Devon against Patrick.
Ali is worried because Patrick is not subtle about his idol hunts and his screaming outbursts could come back to haunt her.
CUT TO: Patrick asking everyone if they’re stupid.
Ali tells him to cool it, but he’s worried that if he can’t be himself, he can’t make friends. Maybe go…like…35% Patrick.
At Heroes Beach
Chrissy and Ben appreciate that they’re in a prime position. Ben even says they’re driving the train…which seems easier than driving a car or something. A train just speeds up and slows down, right? I mean, no offense meant to the train drivers that read this.
Meanwhile, Alan is really frustrated with his inability to open coconuts. Oh, maybe the coconuts are in a power couple with the machete!
Pro-Tip for Future “Survivor” Players: When you go on the show, you’re going to have to know how to start fires, open coconuts, and whatnot. It’s actually really easy. You see, there’s this site called YouTube…
Also, Ashley admits that she’s falling for JP a little bit. Between them, Cole and Jessica, and Ryan and Devon, this season might become an unofficial “Blood vs. Water.”
At Healers Beach
Joe is very worried that Cole knows about his idol and is close to Jessica. He even says that Cole has “Love Bird Disease.” Love Bird Disease? That sounds like a case for…
(Yes, I’ve used that before. But it’s good to recycle.)
Sure enough, Jessica and Cole are getting really close. Cole even admits to Jessica that Joe has the idol. Jessica is so moved by him trusting her that she gives him a smooch on the cheek, which is a big deal because Jessica is a virgin.
The duo decides that blindsiding Joe might be a good idea. However, Cole takes this plan to Roark and Desi without checking with Jessica first.
Quick Aside: I’m with Jessica on this one. Cole should take her advice and not rush to give up things you can’t get back.
In other news, Desi is really annoyed with how Joe will chuck food into the woods if he doesn’t like how it is prepared. This show always comes down to food, always.
Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will run through an obstacle course. At one point, they’ll have to use sandbags to knock blocks off a beam. The first two tribes to stack all of their blocks will win immunity. The first tribe will win chickens. The second tribe will receive some eggs.
Sitting Out: Mike
Challenge Results: The Heroes took first place, while the Healers finished second. It looked like the Healers would claim first, but they forgot one of their blocks. Another important thing to call out is Patrick’s failure to deliver during the sandbag throwing portion. What’s worse is Lauren, who has 25 years of softball experience, begged to take his place and he wouldn’t let her.
Post Challenge Politicking
I don’t think anyone is surprised that it’s looking like a Patrick vs. Lauren showdown.
Patrick feels bad about the loss, but he says if you look at Lauren, he doesn’t think that her subbing in would have changed much. That’s why we talk to people, dude.
Patrick then tells us that he wants to make sure that Lauren feel good for her remaining time in the game. So…he goes to talk to her? Has he been paying attention to what Lauren likes?
She immediately figures out who he’s voting for by pointing out that redheads aren’t good liars. Is that a thing? I’m way behind on my stereotypes.
It all comes down to the same thing as last week; they think Patrick is a hot head who’s good at challenges and the other person is loyal.
Lauren called out Patrick for not being a team player in the challenge and spending his time idol hunting. She also continued her redhead bashing. Who hurt you, Lauren?
In his defense, Patrick thinks he’ll be useful later in the game because he’s good at making friends. Ali points out that he hasn’t been successful with Lauren.
Also, Ryan claims that he’s never been in a relationship. Don’t worry, buddy. Former “Survivor” guys tend to get hot “Survivor” girlfriends when it’s all over.
Voting: We’ve got one vote for Patrick, one vote for Lauren, one vote for Patrick, and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” is…Patrick
Note: As Patrick left he said, “You guys are awful.”
Verdict: Wow…I thought Lauren was a goner. It just seemed like Patrick had strong ties to both Ali and the other guys.
This season started slow, but I’m liking a lot of these players. I kinda wish we didn’t have a swap coming up, cause I’d love to see the Healers try to continue their run.
Power Rankings Results: Aubry Bracco had Patrick in spot 14, I had him in spot 13. The current score is Team Bracco 28, Team Holmes 24.